Learn to say goodbye

We are used to life, to live longer, death is "less common" in our days so that sometimes we forget that we will die or that people that we love will die, we are not used to see people go as previous generations. I see that forgetting death makes us take for granted that people will always be there and that you can visit or talk to them some other time, then, when they die, there is no more time, you will never hear their voice again, or see them, no more talk, no more arguing, just silence, they are gone, they are now a memory.

I'm at an age where my old generation is slowly dying, my great-uncles, my grandparents, my family old friends, I have lived 30ish years without major losses, but now they are going, one by one. I realize how I miss them, and the reality that they are gone is a new concept for me.

I have so little time left to be with few that are still alive, I want to talk & spend time with them, I wonder how some barriers like time and personal space were built around us that we did not spend time together, I don't want to build barriers for friends and family as I grow older. Now that is too late I am starting to see how some of them tried to reach back, but they did not know how, how do we end up so disconnected as we age?

As for the title of this entry, I learned that is better to say goodbye before someone is gone, not to actually say it to them, I mean privately; only to yourself, when you are alone you can be fully open and honest, think as for what would you say in his funeral, or what would you have liked to say to them when they are no longer here, it will hurt, you will cry as if they are gone. I might not say many things to them, but my perception and attitude toward someone after I do this totally changes, things feel different and the fears of asking or saying something vanish, I stated to appreciate them fully as they are, also I have been able to reconnect and bond with them before they are gone.

Before I begun to do this, I had many regrets of not spending time with loved ones before they are gone, I am learning how to say goodbye, I am also learning that I will be gone too sometime in the future, and if I'm blessed enough, someone will miss me as well as I miss them. Now I ask myself, how can I die and let my loved ones happy, so there is no baggage to regret? It is time to learn to say goodbye before someone is gone.