I saw the red flags very early to understand, I got my answers to soon to accept, It was infatuation? stupidity? or was I just too inexperienced to discern, the panorama was there since the beginning, there was nothing hidden, I just ignored it and did it anyway. It has been many years since then, and now that I live a reality that was always there, and see that all the resentment, frustration, anger and contempt I been thru over these years, I just pity on myself now and finally see that there was all exposed before me, but I did not saw.
What purpose is to have eyes, and not be able to see? to be given clear answers, but not understand, how can one receive feedback just to put it aside and formulate your own vision that skew reality. After all, I just tricked myself, all of this its on me. It took me many years, but now I finally realized how big of a stupid I am.
I don't know how can God use this for good, I honestly can't see how, I know all things work together for those who love God, and that is my string of hope when I look myself and help me to just suck-it up, and carry on.
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